caution over fear.

After 7 hours on Zoom today, I decided to round out the evening with another 30 minutes on screen reading to my favorite small humans. I've spent the last few days assisting at a virtual learning workshop and have been so inspired by all of the work people are putting in to making sure that kids are still growing as readers during this time and wanted to try some of the tech out myself. Plus, I just missed my favorite former roomies and their parents were kind enough to appease me. 

Being obsessed with both cognitive development and phonological awareness, and living away from my children's book collection. I found Silly Tilly on kindle unlimited and decided it would be perfect for screen sharing, rhyme awareness, and tracking change in characters feelings. Wanting to do justice to all I learned this week, I planned the read aloud with sticky notes as I would normally do, but got so caught up interacting with G&E that I abandoned them two pages in. It was super fun and they were super cute. It's also just hilarious to ever attempt to be in teacher mode with kiddos you're friends with. So lol to that. 

After my planned read aloud, there was a request (a ploy to delay lights out I'm sure) for another story for the one and only G-Unit. Rylee said go ahead and I scrambled to find another book, but luckily had some tucked away from an author study I had done in the fall. I provided two Dan Santat choices and G picked After the Fall.

In summary, the story is about Humpty Dumpty, and how after his famous fall, the kings men were in fact able to put him back together again, but he was now afraid of heights and his favorite spot to watch the birds from atop the wall. The overall message of the story is that life begins when you get back up again. 

This random book selected in the middle of a bright spot of another quarantined day left me thinking about fear. It is a really hard time to not be afraid. Each day, as I read about more cases and more deaths and more risks, it can be hard to not make decisions based on fear. I started self-isolating on March 13 and have tried to go outside each day for a walk or a run, but sometimes I find myself too crippled with fear to leave the apartment. Here I am in the epicenter of the pandemic, is it really smart to do the Central Park loop? Especially when so many people had the same idea? Or how about the elderly when I switched to Riverside Park? They're out there with face masks, and do they need this space more than I do right now? Should I stay home so they can be out? 

It's hard to know and hard to make the right call. But I do know that the message of After the Fall rang loud and clear to me today: proceed with caution, but not with fear. I can be cautious and go to the park at off times for my outdoor time, but I shouldn't avoid outside altogether because I am afraid. I can go to the grocery store with my Clorox wipes, but I shouldn't buy a three weeks supply of yeast because I'm afraid I'll never be able to shop again. I can refrain from hitting check out on every sale that pops into my inbox to be smart with my student income, but I shouldn't stop supporting businesses I love and because I'm afraid of an economic collapse. 

In a world in crisis, I am so grateful for children's literature and it's capability to pull people of all ages in and ground them. I needed the joy and the reminder today. And tomorrow, I'll go outside. 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4.